Thoughts about a possible future

As I began to write yesterday, but had to pause to finish getting ready, and go, for/to work:
I have been blessed to have a good father. I continued,
As I sit alone in my apartment, at the dining table, and for the first time at its head position, all of a sudden thought about what it might ...
and I had to pause the thought while I went to work, but then, this morning, I finished the thought ...
 what it might, or rather, what it will, LORD willing, be like to have children one day, (as I imagined my son sitting to my right eating cereal with me, perhaps just the two of us there because my wife had taken our daughter to gymnastics class, or what have you), and specifically, thinking, as I sit alone now, what my son may be thinking silently in his little head beside me, about me? Would/will his thoughts be thoughts of admiration & love for his daddy? Perhaps, as he silently eats from his own bowl of cereal, could he be thinking about a problem he is facing, perhaps at school, and is trying to garner his courage to let the question fly, "Hey dad?" ... maybe he won't be thinking about me at all! Instead, I'm sitting here, years before, or at minimum, ~9 months prior to his birth, or perhaps, I'm thinking about a son who might never, ever, exist; but that's not the point I pen these words... What kind of father would I be? Or, what kind of husband would I be? There are a lot of ways of 'being,' but specifically, what kind of leader (and servant) would I 'be' as a husband or father? Some claim individuals have a distorted view of God because he or she had a bad experience/relationship with earthly fathers. If you, rather, me, can do something to create less obstacles for people to find the One true God, and His Son, Jesus Christ, why not do that something? Even though the people who have had bad earthly fatherly relationships cannot excuse, or use as a viable excuse before the judgment seat of God one day that, they had a warped view of God the Father b/c of a warped relationship with their earthly father, such that they couldn't believe in God the Father (BUT, I could be wrong, I'm not God, nor do I know His AWESOME and PERFECTLY JUST JUDGMENT methods) ... what I do think I know though, for me, is that I, want and desire (at least I think I genuinely do at the moment of writing this; b/c the Bible says man's heart is deceitfully wicked), I, want and desire to be as little of an obstacle, and as much as possible, a launching pad for my possible future children, to finding God and His Son Jesus Christ one day! How do I become less an obstacle and more a launching pad? Well, there's only one person on earth I've heard I can fix myself, and that's me (with the Holy Spirit's help). So, when I  hear my son's spoon hit the bottom of his cereal bowl, and he says, "Dad?" and I excitedly prepare myself to give my best thesis statement on who Jesus Christ is and why one needs Him, but first respond, "Yes son?," may the LORD give me grace to pass the cereal in as Christ-like way possible, when he responds, "May I have more cereal?"
-Paul Hart  August 16, 2017